Billy Madison Script Pdf
Billy Madison Script Pdf Average ratng: 3,6/5 6960 reviews
~ Suntan lotion is good for meAplikasi penjualan toko. FREE Analysis of the First 10 Pages of Your Script. Is a resource of 3100+ professional movie scripts and 2000+ TV scripts (PDF) you can instantly. Billy Madison is a 1995 American comedy film directed by Tamra Davis. It stars Adam Sandler, Bradley Whitford, Bridgette Wilson, Norm Macdonald, in his feature film.
~ You protect me~ Tee-hee-heeOh, the sun tries to burn me,but you won't let it, will ya?Ultraviolet rays - bad. Lotion - good.(blows raspberries )Smiley.There's something importantI was supposed to do today.Have five daiquiris?No, you remembered to do that.Man, why did I have so many drinks?I can't remember.- What's today?- October?It's nudie-magazine day!Yeah!Watch out, butler!Ooh, you're a quick one.Nudie-magazine day!Nudie-magazine day!Nudie-magazine day! Nudie..Agh! Ooh!Ooh.Eee..Ah!Oh!(squawking )Holy jeez!Lookee what we got here.That silly penguin is back again.No, Mr Madison, there no penguin.You got too much sun today.- There no penguin!- (squawks )It's too damn hot for a penguinto be just walkin' around here.I gotta send him back to the South Pole.No!Penguin! Don't you dare run away!Come here, Mr Penguin!I'm one of the good guys, penguin.Don't run! Oh. Oh..Don't run!Don't run from me!Penguin!Penguin.You're a bad penguin.Whee-hee!Call the zoo!All the people at the zooare very nice, penguin.They'll treat you real respectable, like.There's nothing to worry about, big fella.Here I come!Right this way, gentlemen.Mr Madison is expecting you.Leg.Billy! You shouldn't pull that crap in front
of your father's business associates.Now you get yourself upstairsand get ready. Dinner's in 15 minutes.- Yeah, yeah.- Don't 'yeah, yeah' me, boy.This is a very important dinner.You best be there.I will. Thank you, Juanita.You gotta dress yourself upand look nice, too.Oh, that boy's a finepiece of work all right.He's a fine piece of *** though, too.Where the hell is he? I'm starvin'.I ate some Triscuit crackers in the car.You should've had some.If you'd told methere were Triscuit crackers,..- .I could've enjoyed them with you.- I'm sorry.Sorry doesn't put the Triscuit crackersin my stomach, does it, Carl?Gentlemen?I'm sorry to have kept you waiting.Have you all met?Eric Gordon, my executive vice president.And our operations manager Carl Alphonse.Sit down, gentlemen, sit down.Beautiful table.Good seeing you, sir.Where's Billy?Juanita said he'd be downin a few minutes.I'm sure you'll all be very impressed.Shampoo is better.I go on first and clean the hair.Conditioner is better.I leave the hair silky and smooth.Oh, really, fool? Really!Stop looking at me, swan.(slurps )- Hey, Carl, what's up?- Nothing much, Billy.- I see you got a little sun today.- You think so?- I fell asleep by the pool for a few hours.- Did you fall asleep or did you pass out?Shut up!That's enough, Billy. Because you tookyour sweet-*** time coming down here,...these gentlemen will miss their flights.Well, this guy can stay in my room,I'll tell you that much.Billy? Eat your soup.It's good soup.Gentlemen, I can't thank you enoughfor coming this evening.(yells gibberish )Please, Billy, please,no gibberish tonight, please. I beg you.Sorry, Daddy.This is a big night for me tonight, gents.I have an important announcement.(fast gibberish )That's it, Billy! Get the hell outta here!(slow gibberish )- Nice talkin' to you, Billy.- (singsong gibberish )(yells )Right. One, two, three!Hey, Billy, how comeyou ain't poundin' any tonight?I don't know. My dad was yellin' at me.I'm just not in the mood.Hey, Billy, who would you rather bone,Meg Ryan or Jack Nicholson?Jack Nicholson now, or 197 4?'7 4.- Meg Ryan.- Go.Go! Go! Go! Go! Go! Go!Oh, my God! I am the winner!- Billy is not an idiot.- I'm not saying he's an idiot.I just think he might not be matureenough to run a Fortune 500 company.My late wife Emily and Istarted this company...with a 15-unit motelin Patchogue, Long Island.We built it into 650 hotels.Our dream was to one dayturn it over to our only son Billy.- How many people work for Madison?- 61,000 and change.How long will they have jobs once Billyhas the hotel operator speaking gibberish?Oh, Billy, Billy boy.When are you gonna findwhatever it is you're lookin' for?Here's a nice piece of ***.My, oh, my. Wait till old man Clemensrealises it's a bag of ***.He's gonna *** when he realises it's ***.Who got the lighter?Come on.Light it.(rings doorbell)Oh, my God! Old man Clemens hates ***!Shh. Here he comes!Who the hell is it? What do you want?Judas Priest, Barbara!One of those flaming bags again!(Barbara ) Don't put it outwith your boots, Ted.Don't tell me my business, devil woman.Call the fire department.This one's outta control(!)(sniffs )It's poop again!He called the *** 'poop'!This is the best night of my life!I'll get you damn kids for this!You're all gonna die!Billy, could you step in herefor a moment?I have big news.Eric is pregnant! Congratulations, Dippy!Feel those kicks!He's gonna be a soccer player. He is.He is.All right, what's up?I've had to facesome hard truths tonight, Billy.Do we have to do thiswith Captain Dipshit here?You were brought up withevery advantage. I bought you everything.Toys, cars, vacations, clothes..Actually, I stole this shirt from Frank.Yeah, well, whatever.It's all my fault. I made a mistake.Jeez, what..?Are you some damned moron?Can't you just stop for two seconds?I'm trying to tell you that I'm retiring,and Eric, not you,..- .is gonna take over Madison Hotels.- Eric?!You're gonna give the company to Eric?He is a bad, bad man!What do you care, Billy? What do you carewho I appoint to run the company, huh?I mean, I'm doin' you a favour.You don't ever have to look for a job.You can sit around all day, goofing off,sipping drinks, chasing invisible penguins.Is that it, Dad?Did the penguin tell you to do this?- Penguin?- What an idiot.You know, I could help Billyuntil he gets the hang of it.I think crazy Carl is right. I mean,I can do this if I set my mind to it.High school was a pain in the ***,but I graduated.Because I paid your teachersto give you decent grades.I've regretted it every day since.I thought at the time...if you could get good grades,you might get into a good college..- .and straighten yourself out.- I don't believe that.Well, what do you believe?That you were an honours student?How could I hand over to someone whocouldn't get through school on his own?I don't know. Don't think about it.Just hand it over.Forget it.Well, listen, don't you think you bettergo to bed? Big day tomorrow.A day filled with daiquirisand Nintendos and jack-off magazines..Dad!Yeah, what?Give me one more chance.I'll prove I can take over.I'll do anything it takes. I'll go backto high school and take the exams again.- I'll get my diploma all by myself.- Billy, Billy, it wasn't just high school.Remember that spelling beeyou won in the first grade?- No, you didn't.- Rock.R-o-k.Yeah? So what's your point?- R-o-c-k!- The C is silent.OK, all right.All right, you got it. First gradethrough 12th grade all over again.I'll do each grade in two weeks,take the tests, regraduate,...prove to you I'm not an idiot, and thenI get to take over Madison Hotels.That's some idea.- You just think of that?- Yeah, I did. It's pretty good, huh?Brian, don't you thinkthe future of Madison Hotels...and its 61,000 employees is tooimportant to gamble on a game like this?No.You're on.Carl, you make the arrangements.You pass every grade before June 15and you take over instead of Eric.Have a nice weekend, son.You start school on Monday.Oh!Give 'em hell, Bill.Nice try, ***.But you're just delaying the inevitable.(~ 'I'll Tumble 4 Ya' by Culture Club )~ Downtown we'll drown,we're in our never splendour~ Flowers, showers~ Who's got the new boy gender?~ I'll be your baby, I'll be your score~ I'll run the gun for youand so much more~ I'll tumble for ya~ I'll tumble for ya~ I'll tumble for ya, I'll tumble for you~ I'll tumble for ya~ I'll tumble for ya~ I'll tumble for ya, I'll tumble~ I get a crazy feelingthat chases in my head~ It's nothing that you do to me,it's nothing that you saidWhere's my Snack Pack?You've got a banana.You don't need no Snack Pack.You know I like Snack Pack.Why can't you give me a Snack Pack?!I thought I was your Snack Pack.- What are you talkin' about?- Nothin'.Bill, you're gonna miss the bus.Yeah, you better getyour beautiful buns up that driveway.- What a weirdo!- (Juanita laughs )~ Oh, back to school~ Back to school~ To prove to Dad that I'm not a fool~ I got my lunch packed up~ My boots tied tight~ I hope I don't get in a fight~ Oh, back to school~ Back to school, back to school..Well, here goes nothin'.Thank you, Daddy.- Hi. How you doin'?- Fine.Are you going to class today, too?I'll be going to class to teach.How about you?I'll be going to learn.Ah. You must be Billy Madison.Yes, I am.Don't you think it's pathetic that becauseof your father you get to do school again?- Yes, I do.
- Well, as long as you know.Well, all right!(bell rings )(children shrieking )Hey, mister,guess what I had for breakfast.- What?- Beans.Scotty likes beans, don't you, Scotty?- Hey. How you doin'?- Let's involve the class.Quiet down, my special people.I want you all to meet...our new friend Billy.- Can everyone say hello to Billy?- Hello, Billy.Hi.Billy is going to be sharing our funand learning for the next two weeks.Billy is special,just like each and every one of you.And what do we do to our special people?All right. All right.Billy, why don't you take a seatright up front here?And we can start story time.You got a misshaped head.Thank you.The Puppy Who Lost His Wayby Chrissy Taylor.'One fine morning...a puppy popped his puppy pawsout of his puppy house.''This was no ordinary puppy.''This puppy was the happiest puppyin the whole world.''In fact, his name was Happy.Happy looked through the bushes..'''I'll never let you get lost again',cried the little boy,...who was so happythat he gave Happy a kiss...on his wet little puppy nose.''The end.'Whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, Miss Lippy.The part of the story I don't like...is that the little boy gave uplooking for Happy after an hour.He didn't put posters up. He just saton the porch like a goon and waited.That little boy's gotta think:you got a pet, you got a responsibility.If your dog gets lost, you don't lookfor an hour then call it quits.You get your *** out thereand you find that ***' dog!I think it's time to play dodge ball.You're out! O'Doyle rules!(sitar music )Billy. What are you doing back?I'm out.Well, that just means you stayoff to the side until a new game starts.That's OK. I'm kinda tired anyway.I'll just sit here and colour or something.Billy, dodge-ball time is a special time.Not just for you boys and girls,but for Miss Lippy, too. So stay outside.(children ) Whoa!Now you're all in big, big trouble.(~ 'Beat on the Brat' by the Ramones )You're out!Oh, yeah!(bell rings )Lunchtime!I bet that Snack Pack's pretty good.Wanna trade me the rest of itfor this banana?You know how badly I can beat you, right?Mortal Kombat on Sega Genesisis the best video game ever.I disagree. It's a very good game, but Ithink Donkey Kong is the best game ever.- Donkey Kong sucks.- You know somethin'? You suck.~ Number one, number one~ Now my song has just begun~ With a rum tum taddelum,Old John Braddelum~ Hey, what country folk we be~ Number two, number two~ Roosters crow,***-a-doodle-doodle-doo~ With a rum tum taddelum,Old John Braddelum~ Hey, what countryfolk we be~ Number three, number three~ I like you and you like meHey! That's very nice of you to pick upyour little brother here at school.He's not my brother. He's my son.- You gotta be kiddin' me.- Mom, that's Billy. He's in my class.I heard he's retarded or something.(laughs )Creative mind. Maybe someday he'll makeMommy and Daddy a lot of money.Daddy's in prison, and he won'tbe home for a long time.My dear Lord.Yeah! Yeah, well, I gotta get goin'right now. I gotta get on the bus.I ride the bus for the cityand watch the bus drivers.This programme to make surethey turn the wheels right..Billy, you forgot your stuff.Come on, honey.Thank you very much, Miss Lippy!- (phone rings )- Yes.- (secretary ) Brian Madison for you.- Tell him I'm out to lunch.Billy Madison.A buffoon. And yet a threatto my eventual takeover of this company.A menace.And what do we do with a menace?We eliminate it.We eliminate Billy Madison.- Tricia Labonte?- Here.- Scotty Logan?- Here.- Billy Madison?- (blows raspberry )(laughing )Hm..Hey. Look at all this milk.- You want some of this milk?- That milk belongs to that classroom.Oh. They don't gots to know about it.It could be our milk.No milk will ever be our milk.Ooh. That wasn't very nice.How 'bout you, sideburns?You want some of this milk?Rather have a beer.I drew the duck blue becauseI've never seen a blue duck before...and, to be honest with ya,I wanted to see a blue duck.Well, it's an excellent blue duck.Congratulations.You just passed the first grade.Oh, Miss Lippy, that's so great.What do you think of that, Mr Blue Duck?That's quack-tastic!Wow! Look at all that candy!Rolex!- Thanks for the watch, Billy.- You're welcome, buddy.This is great. When I graduated first gradeall my father did was tell me to get a job.(braying )Hey, you wanna feed that donkeysome beer, get it all messed up?- Maybe later.- I'll go put some beer in a bucket.- OK.- Hey there, Mr Graduate. How's it goin'?(Eric ) Go!Come on, kid! Get up! Get up!You're humiliating yourself! Get up!Whoa, whoa, whoa..Aaah!So he's passed first grade andhe's moved on to second. Whoop-de-do.Any more information, Rollo?Billy likes to drink soda.Miss Lippy's car is green.And now we have just two students left.Bath.Bath.B-a-t-h.- Bath.- Correct!Bath - that's a little easy.Why don't you just give her the trophy?Cheese.Cheese.C-h-e-e-s-e.- Cheese.- Correct.- Couch.- Couch.C..C-o..- W?- No!No, I'm sorry, that's not right.(laughs )Well, Billy, if you spell this correctly,you pass second grade.Couch.C..Cou..Cou..C-o..R.. Are you going to the mall later?That's what I'm asking.No, I am not going to the mall.Keep spelling, mister.C-o-u...c-h?Correct!I am the smartest man alive!(squealing )Is he gonna have a stupid partyevery time he passes a grade?(Carl) Everybody's havinga good time but you.Spoilt snot. Get outta here.Let me ask you something, Carl.You started here, what, 25 years ago?Night bellboy at the Philadelphia Madison?After all your hard work, how would youfeel working for some punk kid like Billy?Could be worse.That's nice.Man, I'm so nervous.First and second grade were easy,...but social studies, division?This is gonna be tough.Man, I'm so nervous.First and second grade were easy,...but social studies, division?This is gonna be tough.Relax, dude.Jackpot.- Good morning, class.- Good morning, Miss Vaughn.We're gonna start today by readinga short story entitled 'My Sister ***'.Quiet.OK, so let's all open upour Reading is Fun books to page 69.69!Class, say hello to Billy Madison.Hello, Billy Madison.Billy is a nuisance.He will be gone in two weeks.I apologise for this inconvenience.- Jeez! What's up her butt?- What was that, Billy?I said 'Reading is good.'Can we start the story now?Dan, you may begin.'O.. o.. once...th.. th.. there w.. was...a g.. g.. girl...who w..'- He can't even read.- Cut it out, dude.You're gonna get us in trouble.'.p.. p.. p.. p..'T.. t.. t.. today, junior!Ow! You're tearing my ear off!Making fun of a kid for trying to read.Are you psycho? Do you not have a soul?I'm sorry. I can't hear you.I've been physically abused in the ear.Keep your mouth shut for the next twoweeks or I'm gonna fail you. End of story.I see your lips movin', but I can'tmake out your words. I'm deaf.Oh, Veronica Vaughn. So hot.Want to touch the heinie.(howls )So that girlie I've been chasin'?Turns out she's my third-grade teacher.First thing she doesis kick me out of her class.Maybe she feels she hasto make an example of you.- Or she's got somethin' up her ***.- That's what I said.- Poor Billy.- I'm so depressed.- Want me to take my shirt off for you?- No, thank you.OK, baby. But remember,the offer is on the table.Oh, yes. Oh, my.Oh, God, yes.- Lordy.- Billy Madison.Uh-huh?Would you like to try writing some wordsin cursive on the blackboard today?OK. Sure.OK, how about the word 'dugout'?OK, good. How about 'bunt'?Bunt. B-u-n-t.In perfect cursive.Any more brain-busters?Rizzuto.Z.. Z..Rirruto?Those are Zs.They look like Rs to me.That's not fair! Rizzuto is not a word.He's a baseball player. You're cheating.Would you like to try the word 'buzz'?(children laugh )I hate cursive and I hate all of you!I'm never comin' back to school! Never!(children laugh )(Juanita ) Billy!I swear, I'm sick. I can't go to school.If you're gonna stay home today,you could help me shave my armpits.Oh, my God! I'll go to school.O'Doyle rules!- What's goin' on?- Miss Vaughn's sick.(teacher claps )Please take your seats.- Who's that guy?- Principal Anderson.As you can tell, Miss Vaughn is not feelingwell today, so I'll be taking her place.But don't get your hopes up,because I plan on teaching,...so I hope you plan on learning.Now, who can tell me where we arein our social-studies reader?Yes?Michael?Excuse me. What's that in your hand?Bring that note up to me.(class ) Ooh.Now let's see what couldn't waittill after class.'We're so lucky to havePrincipal Anderson substituting.''Now we have the privilege of staringat that tub of lard all day long'?'If I were him, I would walk my fat ***right into oncoming traffic.'Oh, man, Billy,I just thought of the funniest thing.Billy?- Where's Billy?- He's in school, man.Oh, yeah.(~ 'I'm Not the One' by the Cars )~ I'm not the one~ That you'll be shootin' for~ I'm not the one~ Who's coming back for more~ You know why~ We've been through this too many times~ You know why~ It's never clear it's pantomimeI don't wanna sound like a weirdo,but I kinda missed Miss Vaughn today.- Why? Do you like her or something?- No!- Why? Did she say she likes me?- Not to me.Well, let's find out.Uh, hello?Um, is this Miss Vaughn?Oh, hi. It's Ernie from class.(whispers ) Ask her if she has a boyfriend.Uh, Miss Vaughn, do you have a boyfriend?(whispers ) No.- Ask her..- Shh!Ask her if she likes anybody from class,like, more than a friend.Uh, Miss Vaughn, do you likeanybody in class more than a friend?(whispers ) No.Ask her if she would evergo out with somebody from class.- No!- Just do it!Um, Miss Vaughn, would you evergo out with anybody from class?Uh-huh.Uh-huh.You see, Ernie, grown-ups liketo go out with other grown-ups.- What about Billy?- You're more of a grown-up than Billy.- I'll give you a grown-up.- What was that, Ernie?(high-pitched) Nothing.See you tomorrow in class, Miss Vaughn.You blew it!Hey, I dare you to throwyour sandwich at the bus driver.(children ) Do it. Come on.Hey!Hey, who threw that?I'll turn this damn bus around.That'll end your precious littlefield trip pretty damn quick, huh?***.Hey, I'm tryin' to score points withthe teacher today. Don't screw it up!I dare you to touch her ***.Touch her ***? That's assault, brother.Ya double-dare me?Miss Vaughn, how long till we get there?- I have to go to the bathroom.- Probably about two minutes.Sorry about that.Damn guy drives like an animal.That's all right, Billy.Why don't you go back and sit down now?- OK.- I double-dare you.Da.. I.. Accident..Mistake.. ***..- Go sit down now.- Yes.(children giggle )Yeah, here we go again.Another treat from the road.Grand, ripe banana.Trick of the day. Great..(woman ) What is a horseshoe?What does a horseshoe do?Are there any horse socks?Is anybody listening to me?Anyways, I am sorry aboutwhat happened back there,...but you have to admit,I've been tryin' to be good lately.Well, you're not the first personthat's tried to grab my chest.I'm trying not to hold you to a higherstandard than the rest of the students.Although maybe I should.You are, what, 50?No, but the other kids look up to me.I don't want them to think I'm a coward.Don't worry about it. Next week you'regonna have another teacher to annoy.I don't want to annoy another teacher,Miss Vaughn. I want to annoy you.- Miss Vaughn!- Somebody stole all our lunches.Who would steal 30 bagged lunches?I'll tell you who took those lunches.That damn sasquatch.Well, I guess that's it.OK, everybody! Back on the bus!- Hey, what's with Ernie?- I don't know. I'll be right back.Hey, Ernie, what's up?Nothing.You fallen in lovewith the wall or somethin'?- I had an accident.- An accident. What does that mean?Ooh!Oh, I know. OK. Uh..Don't worry, buddy. You hang tight.I'll be right back.Hey, look, everybody! Billy peed his pants!Of course I peed my pants. Everybodymy age pees their pants. It's the coolest.- Really?- Yes!You ain't cool unless you pee your pants.- Wow.- Hey, man, Ernie peed his pants too.All right!If peeing your pants is cool,consider me Miles Davis.Oh!That was the grossest thingI've ever heard in my life! Let's go!Get on the bus here.Move it. Get up there, Kyle.One, two, five, seven.Move it or lose it. Get on the b..Hi, Miss Vaughn. Nice to see ya.That Veronica Vaughn is one piece of ***.I know from experience, dude,if you know what I mean.No, you don't.Well, not me personally, but a guy I know.Him and her got it on.Whoo-ee!No, they didn't.No, no, no, they didn't.But you can imaginewhat it'd be like if they did, right? Huh?Everybody on?Good, great, grand, wonderful!No yelling on the bus!~ Billy passed the third grade~ Oh, what a glorious day~ Oh, passin' third grade~ The Billy Madison wayYeah!Rock on! Yes!(boy ) Stop it.Who are you? I don't even know you.Go away, mister. Stop it.- Are you OK?- Yeah.- Look! She came!- And she came too.The mucus queen is yours.Thanks.Hi!Oh, gosh. Oh, thank you.Oh, my God!Snack Pack! You're the coolest!- Those should last you the weekend.- Thank you very much.- Billy is on the right track.- He's on track all right.He's headed right down the toilet.Easy.You still don't think he's gonna make it?Trust me, Carl, baby.I know he's not gonna make it.Would you excuse me for a second?Who will help me destroy Billy Madison?Who?You know, that was really sweet,the way you helped Ernie out yesterday.He would have done the same for me.So what's it like being back in school?I don't know. I kinda feellike an idiot sometimes.Although I am an idiot,so it kinda works out.Is it just you and your dad in here?Well, actually, no. There's Juanita,and some maids and butlers and stuff.And people who work for my dadare always stoppin' by.And my friends are always sleepin' over,even when I didn't ask 'em to.- Sounds like a hotel.- It kinda is. It can be distracting.That's why I moved out here.Wow.This is where I've been spendingmost of my time lately.Not exactly roughing it, are you?Those are, uh..They come with the tent, so..Oh, wow. A Tale of Two Cities.I don't think we're up to that one yet.I can understand nine wordsin that book now.So, it's, um.. the last day of third grade.And you have the teacher,alone, in your tent.What do you wanna do?Well, I can think of three thingsI'd like to do.One would involve some ice cubesand a nine-iron.- Two would include a buffalo.- Really?Live or stuffed.Preferably stuffed, for safety's sake.Three: we'd bring backsome of those ice cubes,...but switch it over to a pitching wedge.How you guys doin'?Hey! Carl! Good to see you!This is Veronica, my teacher. That's Carl.Very pleased to meet you.Bill, I think Eric is up to something.- Who's Eric?- He works for my dad too.He gets the company if I screw up.He's a ***.He made some menacing comments to me,and then he did that little weasel laugh.- Yeah. How does that laugh go again?- You know. (laughs )- Very good. It sounded just like him.- Thanks.Well, I'm sure he's gotsomething up his sleeve.- Thanks, buddy.- No problem.(~ 'ABC' by the Jackson 5)~ You went to school to learn, girl~ Things you never, never knew before..(teacher ) The most densely populated partof the US is along the eastern seaboard.We're gonna talk about why that isover the next few minutes.We all know what a census is, don't we?That's like taking a census..You know, yeah. Pick it up and gimme..You want some of this?Oh, my dear Lord!You never leave me open, son,cos I'm gonna hit it every time.You want some more of that?I didn't think so!~ Reading, writing, arithmeticare the branches of the learning tree~ But without the rootsof love every day, girl~ Your education ain't complete~ Teacher's gonna show you~ How to get an A~ How to spell 'me', 'you'and add the two~ Listen to me, baby,that's all you gotta do~ ABC~ It's easy as 1-2-3~ As simple as do-re-mi, ABC..(belches the alphabet )All right, stop before I throw up.Hey, Billy, you wanna goplay soccer with us after school?No, I got a test on Friday.I'll play with you guys next week.- Next week you'll be in ninth grade.- Yeah, high school.Oh, yeah.You aren't gonna wanna hang round witha bunch of dumb elementary-school kids.That's not true. I'll comeand visit you guys all the time.Yeah, to see your girlfriend.(boys ) Whooo!(cackling )Have some more Sloppy Joes.I made 'em extra sloppy for yous.I know how yous kids like 'em sloppy.Lady, you're scarin' us.- Do you know where the bathroom is?- Second door on the left.Hey, tubby, how abouta little bathroom reading?I have the August 1983 issueof Wrestling World here.There's a terrific article abouta wrestler named the Revolting Blob.Gee, you know somethin'?He kinda looks like someone I know.- Where'd you get that?- I have a subscription.Bad guy. He threw one opponent out ofthe ring and hit a bunch of senior citizens.Boy, this wacko looks familiar.What do I care about somestupid phoney wrestling guy?My God.In June 1983 he sat onsome guy's head and killed him.It was just a stunt!He was supposed to pinch my legif he was running short of air.With this guy sitting on everyone's head,I wonder how he got his teaching degree?No!No, you can't do that to me.Those kids are my whole life!So you wouldn't want anything to happenthat would make 'em think less of you?Max?Max?You ready to cooperate with me?Yes.Then Madison Hotels is as good as mine!(rock music from car )(laughter )- (student ) Nice shirt.- Yeah. Yep.(bell rings )Now the cell's happy. But other moleculesare saying 'We'd like some energy too.'And it uses its own pigment molecule,chlorophyll, to carry out the action.This does not make the ribosomes happy.And poor chlorophyll is caughtin the middle of this.Chlorophyll? More like 'bore-ophyll'!Right?- Jeez, a little bit stuffy in here, huh?- Don't talk to me.- And why is that?- Because you're a loser.(teacher ) .from these ribosomes.And chlorophyll helps the chloroplast..No, I will not make out with you!Did you hear that? This girl wants tomake out with me in the middle of class!You got 'chlorophyll man' up theretalkin' about God knows what.All she's talking about is makin' out withme. I'm here to learn, not to make out.Go on with the chlorophyll.O'Doyle rules.Thanks a lot, O'Doyle. Nice meetin' you.(giggling )- Wait till they start with the wedgies.- Yeah.You oughta start cutting your underwearbefore you get to school. So it rips easier.I see. Who are you guys?The guys everybody used to pick onbefore you started here.No, they ain't pickin' on me. They're givin'me a hard time cos I'm the new guy.A little first-day hazing.- Are you in loser denial or something?- I had a bad case of loser denial myself.Till the lacrosse team stucka parking cone up my ***.Loser? I ain't no loser.I was the king of this high school.A hundred friends, a million parties..You guys are losers, not me.And that is what a prime number is.(children ) Billy!I figured I got fourth period off,I'd shoot down and say hi.- How's high school, Billy?- Yeah, how's high school?High school is great.I mean, I'm learning a lot.And all the kids are treating mevery nice. It's great.Gee, I can't wait till I go to high school.Don't you say that.Don't you ever say that.Stay here.Stay as long as you can.For the love of God, cherish it.(Veronica ) Jennifer,why don't you read out loud?You gotta cherish it.You do.Hm.I don't understand it.I mean, ten years ago high schoolwas the greatest. I had so much fun.I guess a little too much fun,since you've gotta do it again.I know. It's just that classes are so hard,and all the kids treat me like I'm a goof.Well, you are a goof.Suck it up. Eight more weeksand you're all set.Yeah, you're right. You're so smart.- I gotta go, OK?- OK.Billy, wait.It doesn't feel so greatto be called a loser, does it?No.Maybe the first timeyou went to high school,...you weren't as nice to the kidsthat you thought were losers.I know what you're sayin'.You're so smart.(phone rings )Hello?- Hi. Is this Danny McGrath?- Yeah.The Danny McGrath that graduatedfrom Knibb High School in 1984?- Uh, yeah. Who's this?- This is Billy Madison.You probably don't remember me,but I went to high school with you.I kinda gave you a hard time back then,...and I did some things thatI thought were funny at the time,...but now I realise theywere just mean and stupid.And I just wanted to apologise,and I hope you forgive me.Yeah, sure. Don't worry about it.Wow! That's great!Well, I am sorry, and maybewe can get together some time..